


Vicissitude

by dyslexicdecisions



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 20:19:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyslexicdecisions/pseuds/dyslexicdecisions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after school Camila returns for her reunion and finds a new friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vicissitude

**Author's Note:**

> My girlfriend asked me to help her and it was planning a story and I couldn't not write it after planning it so here it is.

I felt my nerves creak in harmony with the door, bit I pushed through both of them none the less feeling just the same as I had when I was sixteen.   
  
It's scary how one place could hold so much power a place could hold over someone, it was scary really how it could strike fear into the bones of an adult. It made me feel pathetic, that was a feeling I was used to unfortunately now it was not just these walls that I now felt it within.  
My mind flashed to my husband and I was almost glad that he couldn't make it this evening, even if it meant I had to do this alone. At least it meant I was free for one evening, even,if it was only that; one evening.   
  
The school hadn't changed much, it had a new coat of paint, some new windows, a nice new scoreboard on the wall,of the gymnasium, but it was the same nonetheless. It was still a school, this was still the gym and come Monday morning it would still be full of sweaty reluctant teenagers, wishing they weren't there. I couldn't help but wonder if that's what we were like as people. That's what i  
I felt like, I had grown, my face was older, my hair darker, my eyes not as bright and I had a shiny ring on my finger, but I was still filled with all the fears from the very first time I walked on these floorboards and fell flat on my back.  
  
I couldn't help but wonder if everyone else was the same, I glanced around the hall. Some faces looking familiar, some even friendly. A lot of them were far more wrinkly than I expected them to be, some of them had barely aged at all. I made my way over to the bowl of fruit punch wondering why I hadn't just spent the night at the movies and told my husband that I had come to this stupid reunion. I was never one to have a group of friends in school, did I think that would somehow change after all these years of seeing most these people less and less.  
  
I sighed taking a gulp of my beverage,   contemplating how to make my inevitable escape. My eyes automatically scanned the crowd, recognising the demons of my past. My eyes caught on to one face in particular. A beautiful face,sallow skinned, with a perfectly sculpted jawline, cheekbones you could only dream of, lips still like bright cherry roses and her eyes. Her eyes were like nothing I'd ever seen before and because of that they were impossible to describe. The pulled you in and pushed you away all at the once, made you feel like the most important person you could ever be and so so insignificant simultaneously.   
She hadn't changed a bit, she was still gorgeous, she was still turning heads everyone was still parting like the red sea as she walked through the crowd towards me.   
Oh god, no. Towards me? I felt a lump hitch in my throat and I made sure to avert my gaze from her. My heart was racing and all my instincts were telling me to run in the opposite direction, but something kept me routed firmly to the spot I was stood in. My mind just couldn't decide yet whether it was fear or idiocy.  
  
"Camila?" I felt a soft touch on my bare arm and my skin burned at the touch. I turned to face her and I found reality mixing with memories and fears. This didn't seem real. Her voice was a lot softer than I remembered, lower, warmer, kinder. She was smiling too and not her old grimace, or the coy sneer that had usually danced on her lips when she was in my presence.   
I felt my jaw go slack and didn't realise that I hadn't replied to her until she awkwardly took her hand away from me, her smile faltering slightly her eyes flashing something I had never seen on the younger version of this woman, something that I doubted many people who expect to see on her at all; shame.  
  
"Sorry... I just, I wondered..." She stuttered through her sentence and I was positive there was no way this could be real.  
  
"Hi." I said lamely. I had to stop her, it was painful to see her struggle through a simple greeting and despite all the memories of the torturous years she had helped make sure I had spent in these walls, I somehow felt sorry for her.  
  
"Hi." She brightened once more, her smile returning.  
  
"Uhm, I don't know if you remember me.." She started slowly and I let out an involuntary scoff, immediately regretting it when I watched her face drop once more.  
  
"Yeah stupid question, of course you remember me." She sighed and twiddled with her fingers a presumably nervous habit that I had never been privileged enough to see before. I was mentally shocked to see that she had no wedding ring on her finger. Her fingers were completely void of rings completely. It seemed odd to me that of all people to not be married it would be her. I'm sure most of these people in here had thought it would have been me, without a husband, a lonely crazy cat woman perhaps. Sometimes I wished they were right, it surely couldn't been any worse than how alone I was now, with him.  
  
"I know this is strange but... Can we go somewhere? I want to tell you some things." I nodded at the taller girl and followed her out of the building.  
  
She sat on the steps behind our school basketball court and motioned for me to do the same.  
  
"I want to apologise, for everything I put you through in this place." That wasn't what I had expected, but the fact that she was apologising warmed me slightly. It gave me hope.  
  
"I know we were kids, but I know it's something that can have a lasting effect. I mean your face when I touched you just a few minutes ago. That was horrible to see and evidence enough that what I did was completely unacceptable." She sighed and turned her gaze from her fiddling fingers to me, her green eyes focused in on mine and I felt myself dizzying.  
  
"Camila, I'm really sorry and I wanna be honest. It disgusts me that what I did was so bad that you're scared even to this day of me."  
  
"I don't want you to think ill of me, I never wanted to hurt you or anyone. Especially you." Her eyes flickered nervously finding it hard to stay on mine even though I felt like her eyes were doing the opposite, they were anchoring me. Keeping me put, telling me that she was telling me the truth.  
  
"In school, I was coming to terms with... My sexuality. I hated it and wanted to hide it no matter what. I knew my parents wouldn't support me, I knew I'd be picked on. So instead of falling victim, I decided it'd be easier to pick a victim."   
Her beautiful green eyes were watering up and I couldn't help but think that my anchors were sinking further into me with the added weight, the truth. I was shocked but intrigued, it explained the lack of rings. The fact she was at the party without a husband.  
  
"I didn't want it to be you. I admired you, the way you were you no matter what, the way you were kind to everyone until they gave you a reason not to be. I'm pretty sure I loved you or at least I felt as if I could and I hated myself more and instead of excepting it. I just blamed you." My eyes widened in realisation.   
  
"Camila... I know that's a lot to take in, but I just wanted you to know. I'm really glad you're here and I got to tell you because sometimes you just pop into my head. I always wonder what became of you. If you're happy now?" She asked kindly but I knew there was something more in her voice. She was waiting for the reaction. I couldn't help but wonder if her parents talked to her now, or if she was even out to her parents.   
  
I didn't know what to say so I smiled. Her anchors pulled my closer and I saw my reflection in her green orbs and although I was smiling I knew I wasn't happy.   
  
"No." I shocked myself with my own honesty and I felt a warmth against my leg and found a comforting fans placed there. I looked back up and felt more confident more willing to be open.  
  
"I got married cause my parents wanted me to, to someone they wanted me to marry. He was nice for a while, people think we're happy. I thought we were happy because I had finally made my parents happy." I felt my own eyes swell with tears, but I somehow found comfort that I was now sinking with my anchors. I had never told anyone about how unhappy I was with my life.  
Something about sitting here with her made me feel less alone somehow.  
  
"Why don't you leave?" It was a simple question, one that I had asked myself many times, one that I was sure other people would ask me if I ever did tell anyone. It was one that I had never wanted to be asked again after what happened when I tried it.   
  
"No..." The older woman gasped and I realized that my eyes must have given me away.  
  
"Camila, you have to leave him if he... If he..." Her tears were escaping and I couldn't understand why she cared so much.   
  
"I know. Its just... It's harder than.." I couldn't help but let my own sobs escape my lips.   
  
"Does he... Do it often?" I nodded and  she pulled me into a hug.  
  
My conversation with the girl who was once the bane of my adolescence had gone in a completely unimaginable direction. Maybe it was because of her honesty, maybe it was because it was easy to talk to her, maybe it was because I was finally released from the prison of my emotions. I had finally uncorked a volcano of emotion and it felt, unbelievable. It was elating.   
  
We must have been sat there for hours, we caught up on what we had missed of each other. Not that we would have missed it if we didn't have that talk but, I felt like I missed her. I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed her company and we had so much in common. We had exchanged numbers and arranged to meet up again. It was the strangest turn around but it felt good.  
  
Once we reached her car and I began to leave for my own but something propelled me to turn once more. My eyes found her still stood by the door of her car, her gaze fixed on me. I wondered if she has just looked up or if she had ever looked away at all.  
  
"Lauren?" I locked eyes with her and saw her smile.  
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Thank you. For everything." I smiled at her and sighed, my eyes still somehow hooked onto those anchors.   
  
"You know that's the first time you've used my name all evening?" She asked shyly, her lower lip hiding between her teeth.   
  
On my drive back to my house I couldn't get my mind off everything that my evening had aspired to. My intentions of leaving ny husband had never been more true, Lauren had given me the confidence I needed and I couldn't fathom how she had managed it. She didn't leave my mind  the entire car journey either and when I pulled up outside my house, I couldn't help but fumble for my phone in my bag and dial the number that was neatly scrawled across the back of my hand.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
"You didn't stop did you?"  
  
"Wha- who is- Camila?"   
  
"You didn't stop, that's why you care so much. That's why you wanted to find me."  
  
There was silence on the other end of the line. Then a deep breath.  
  
"No, I never stopped and yeah. That's why I had to find you." I felt my heart swell at her words. There it was again, that glimmer of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, the silver lining and it was Lauren. Of all people.  
  
"I'm about to go in, I'll ring you tomorrow."  
  
"Okay good luck. You know if you ne-" I cut her off almost chuckling to myself.  
  
"I know. I know now, thank you. G'Night Lauren."  
  
"Night Camila."   
  
I hung up the phone and climbed out of my car and walked to the front door, I inhaled a shaky breath before putting my hand on the door handle. I could do this now. I pushed the door open and braced myself, I was finally ready to change everything.


End file.
